A Break from Business as Usual

This scene depicts a bronze pour at a sculpture foundry and features the artists Luis Montoya and Leslie Ortiz. The painting is about 90% finished (the last 10% is the hardest part.) I chose to work in acrylic because the paint properties make it easier to keep it loose. The trick is to keep it that way. The canvas measures 5' x 6' 

Christkiller

16" x 12" Acrylic, gouache and water color on wood

America is swiftly following Europe into the post-Christian era where empty churches are recycled into nightclubs and the great cathedrals have been reduced to tourist attractions- devoid of any meaning or value, like the old castles. And it's open season for religion haters who attack Christianity with impunity-a perfect example being the infamous theft of the Mojave Cross in California.

 After the atheists lost a ruling to have the memorial to the dead soldiers of World War removed they simply stole it - erased it. Disappeared it. The atheists exploited a legal loophole where only the ORIGINAL cross was protected by law. A replacement replica was banned.  Problem solved. The thieves were last seen at a rally promoting tolerance for the construction of a Mosque at Ground Zero.

 The news media, who are very selective when it comes to hate crime, was not available for comment.

So what killed Christianity? The horrific revelations about pederast priests and cover-up by the Vatican? Feminists demanding to be ordained as priests?  Charlatan preachers? The relentless ridicule of spirituality by Hollywood? Christian rock or its hellish offspring  Christian Hip Hop? The ACLU's determination to remove every last vestige of Christianity from public life?

We've come a long way (thanks taxpayer subsidized NPR!)  from Gregorian Chant, Michelangelo, Thomas Aquinas and Going My Way.

Lord of the Baby Boomers

Bronze  11"x10"x8"

The Lord of the Flies was mandatory reading for the post-war generation. I suppose we all saw ourselves as a cross between the reasonable leader, Ralph and his wise and civilized advisor Piggy. A closer look at the "Me Generation" inspired me to place the tail at the back of the head.

Somewhere Jerry Springer is Kicking a Dog

American Idol winner Barak Obama taped an appearance today on The View to plug his third autobiography. Not really! He's on The View because his ratings are in the toilet

 and he wants to reconnect with his voter base. 

Also, he's terrified of the Washington Press Corp because they wrinkle his suit. 

The national press fawned all over John F. Kennedy too, which is why he had to reveal the Cuban Missile Crisis to the American people while wearing a mask on "I've Got A Secret." 

I Hate Jimmy Buffett, Pissed at Rush Limbaugh

I hate Jimmy Buffett's stupid music and the whole "pirate, beach bum, parrot" thing. Note to Jimmy: suing small business owners over bogus copyright claims doesn't make you a "pirate."  Here be greedy! AAAAARGH!

Recently he sold his Palm Beach mansion to his next door neighbor for 18.5 million dollars. The neighbor, a billionaire left-wing activist is in league with George Soros and is bent on world domination. But first, he plans to tear down his own manse next door and turn it into a yard or something. 

There's no report where Jimmy's heading but I have to assume this singer/environmentalist had an epiphany after the BP oil disaster and realized a tiny bungalow he owns a mile up the road is really all the carbon footprint a "pirate" needs when not summering at the Hamptons mansion.

Which brings me to Limbaugh. Rush just sold his Central Park apartment because he'd rather live in Palm Beach all year round than pay New York taxes. And who could blame him? A few months ago he made a minor stink about having to turn off the lights of his ocean front estate to prevent sea turtle hatchlings from wandering away from the ocean. The locals weren't amused. I think he was only half joking. 

The BP oil disaster is one of the worst ecological heartbreaks in history. People are hurting. This isn't the time for political one upsmanship. The Gulf Coast needs Limbaugh's help. To his credit, Jimmy Buffett threw a benefit concert and sent four special flat bottomed boats to aide in wildlife rescue. 

 I propose that Rush send FIVE rescue boats and throw a benefit golf tournament. Call it the BP Open. Better yet- call it the Margarita Open and dare the "pirate" to sue you. Everyone wins!

John Kerry's True Compass

Right now Massachusetts  has a 9% unemployment rate. That represents more than 300,000 jobless people.

But U.S. Senator Kerry, the richest member of Congress in 2008 (of the top ten wealthiest members of Congress, eight are Democrats) bought himself a new boat anyway. But not just ANY boat- this floating palace was built in Australia and cost Mrs. Kerry $7,000,000. That's seven MILLION. 

The sales tax comes to a whopping $500,000 which would come in handy to a revenue starved, job starved state like "Taxachusetts."

Except that he's docking the 73 foot luxury sloop in neighboring Rhode Island where the Boat Sales Tax was repealed in 1993. So Massachusetts won't see a dime of the sales tax. Upkeep for a monster like that (the pilot's house features a wet bar and cold wine storage) will keep a lot of Rhode Islanders busy! The Senator's creating jobs Down Under and Next Door. It's a start!

Keep paying those taxes, America and don't forget to recycle!

Bill McCollum

For up to the minute coverage of the Florida political races, visit the Crowley Political Report.

The First Book of Last Times

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1450585779?tag=ronsfunnybook-20 
"There was, of course, a last time you were carried sleeping from the car. The occasion was neither celebrated nor remarked unless your dad said something like: “Holy cow! This kid’s a moose. From now on he walks.”

     And so you did. The next time your folks came in late, your dad squeezed your shoulder and shook you gently, saying, “We’re home. Wake up. Let’s go.” And obligingly, you trundled into the house, bouncing off furniture and walls until you crawled into bed where somebody later came and undressed you and tucked you in and perhaps pressed lips against your cheek.

     There was a last time for that, too."

This charming book, written by the incomparable Palm Beach Post humor columnist Ron Wiggins ( and illustrated by yours truly) is back in print through Amazon.  No one does nostalgia or writes about parenting better than Wiggins.

Originally published by Cox Media and later Andrews and McMeel in  1988, it was a best seller with readers who bought copies by the armload. Okay- that's an exaggeration but the book did very well.

It can be yours again for $9.95 for a single copy or $99.50 for an armload.

George Orwell

If I'm not mistaken, it's Womyn's History Month. If it is- this one's for them.

If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain

Sealed With a Twist

Because I hate St. Valentine's Day...

Charles in Charge

An article in the Miami Herald describes Florida Governor Charlie Crist's final year in office as one "with perilous poll numbers, his optimism worn thin and his shell of political Teflon deeply scratched."  Was it his broken "no new taxes" pledge or did he underestimate the resolve of his conservative base?  It appears he could now lose his Senate bid to upstart challenger Marc Rubio. Looks like someone needs a hug! Wait! No! Not the hug!

The 2010 Mid-Term Election

It was funny the LAST time the Democrats blew it and it'll be funnier the NEXT time.

The Law Is A Ass